Bryleigh's TV Debut, and why it REALLY matters

We had no idea when we set out for a quick errand that we'd be asked to take a stand for something that is so polarizing among a new group of peers we've just entered in to...parents and our decision to vaccinate or not.

After trying to upload my pictures from Father's Day morning, I realized that my SD card had been damaged somehow, and I was at a loss for how to get those precious pictures off of that card.  I did a little research online and found a camera shop in Arlington that does memory card recovery, so as soon as Brad got off work, we loaded up Miss Bryleigh and a half-packed diaper bag and headed for ONE quick stop.

Once we got over to North Arlington, we realized we would be close to one of our favorite places to eat...PANERA, so we decided we'd grab a bite to eat there after we finished up at the camera shop.  So one stop turned in to TWO quick stops.

I had on no jewelry (not even my wedding ring), no make up, my hair was still in a pony tail from the day before, and Brad and I matched!  Bryleigh's bag had a diaper and wipes, one bottle, no burp cloth, and no change of clothes.  I have seriously never left the house since she's been here LESS prepared!  And to top it off, she didn't even have on a bow!!

As we were leaving, a lady that was following behind Brad said something along the lines of, "Oh your baby is so cute.  How old is she?"  She's quite the conversation starter when we are out and about, so this definitely didn't catch me off guard, but the fact that as we kept walking, she kept talking.

She quickly got to the question of, "Well did you guys have her vaccinated for the whooping cough?" After we told her that we did, she introduced herself as a reporter for NBC5.  She told us that she was doing a news story for the 10 o'clock news about Pertussis and that she had not been able to find anyone to interview yet.

As she asked if we'd be willing to go on camera and do an interview, a million thoughts ran through my mind..."I have on NO make up," "Brad and I have on the SAME shirt," "What if I look fat," "Bryleigh doesn't even have a bow on," "What will people say that DON'T agree with us," and the list goes on and on...it's amazing how many thoughts I had in those short 5 minutes of talking with her and deciding if we'd do the interview.

But then it hit me...this time last year, at about 8 weeks pregnant, I had NO idea that I needed to even think about vaccinating myself against the whooping cough.  I had heard of "Whooping Cough" and "Pertussis", but I honestly thought it was one of those "old time things"...you know, the types of illnesses and diseases that plagued our grandparents' generation but couldn't possibly still be an issue today.

It didn't matter what I looked like, or what I sounded like.  I just knew that if one new mom saw our baby and learned something new about protecting her baby, then it would be worth it.

I remember my mom calling me and telling me about a news story she'd seen talking about the rise of cases of Whooping Cough (in 2013) and the main area they were discussing...Tarrant County, right where we lived and would be raising our little girl.

I began doing what any mom would do - scouring the internet, talking with girl friends, and discussing the issue with our doctor and pediatrician.  The most impactful part in my decision was when I came across a Facebook page of a little girl who had passed away from contracting Pertussis.  The illness had flown under the radar during several different doctor's appointments and the tests for Whooping Cough had never been run...until it was too late.  She ended up in the PICU, but she was never able to go home.  And with that, my mind was made up.  We would get the vaccine.

But going even further than that, Bryleigh wouldn't come out of the womb vaccinated.  She wouldn't be able to receive any doses of the vaccine until she was 2 months old, so the only way we would be able to protect her, especially in the county where the number of cases was breaking records and on the rise, was to ensure that any one that came to visit got the vaccine as well.

In those first two months before Bryleigh was able to receive the vaccine, we had to protect her as best as we could.  Our friends and family did not have to go out and get the vaccine if it was something they didn't want to do, but we asked that they wait to meet Bryleigh until she was vaccinated.

We believe in vaccinating our children. We know that not everyone does, and that's okay. That's what being a parent is about...deciding what's best for your child.

Why I'm THANKFUL for Hyperemesis

James 1:2-3 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 

for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 

I'm currently in my 21st week of pregnancy, and I'd have to say, I think I've finally turned that corner my doctor kept telling me would come eventually.  (I've been a little apprehensive to write about rounding that corner for fear that I'll keep rounding it and end up right back where I was...somedays I feel like we take one step forward only to take 2 steps back.)  I'll preface this by saying that I know I'm not out of the woods.  I still have to be careful about what, when, and how much I eat, what I smell, and even what I see...you'd be surprised all the things that have actually made me throw up over the past 17 weeks!

For the past two weeks I've really been fighting getting sick because my esophagus has been so damaged by the past 17 weeks that I have been throwing up blood, and whether you've been warned about that or not (thankfully, I was by my doctor), it's still a scary thing to see.  So this past week, I spent 3 full afternoons in bed because the nausea was just so intense on those days that I really couldn't do much else.

I can definitely tell that my energy is coming back, slowly but surely.  At the beginning of being so sick, walking from our bedroom to the living room would make me dizzy and exhausted, then it was longer periods, like a full morning at church.  Thankfully, I can now go to the grocery store with Brad and not have to worry if I'm going to end up passing out or having to go sit out in the car.  I will admit that I still get nervous from time to time about doing different things, and there are some things that are still almost impossible (for some reason taking a shower is the hardest thing I do these days!), but I know that my body is much healthier today than it was a few weeks ago.

With all of that being said, as tough as the 20 weeks were to get to this point, I am thankful for THIS journey that God has me on.  As we struggled through infertility and were told we might not be able to conceive, my prayer to God was that He would give me the opportunity to experience carrying my own child.  I always knew that I would be a mother, and I still believe that someday Brad and I will experience the miracle of adoption as well, but I wanted more than anything to feel my baby kicking from the inside.  I wanted to be the one that provided her with what she needed for the first 9 months of her existence, and that was prayer, day after day, week after week.  My prayer was first and foremost for God's will, but I knew that I could tell Him what my heart desired openly and honestly.

Well, He answered my prayers...FULLY.  I have been able to experience just about all there is to carrying your own child, and I look forward to all of the experiences over the next 20 or so weeks, whatever they may be (even if that means we took a wrong turn at that corner, and the 2nd 20 weeks end up looking like the 1st 20).  I am THANKFUL for the past 20 weeks, Hyperemesis, and every single thing that has happened throughout this pregnancy...some of it I just hope I can forget and never experience again!

Because of Hyperemesis, I am officially a stay at home wife and mom.  I fought as long and as hard as I could to NOT be there yet.  My plan was never to give notice at my job BEFORE I had a baby...as much as I wanted to at times, and as much as Brad and I debated and discussed the issue.  But at every turn during this pregnancy, God kept saying, "But this is MY plan for you."  I would be ready to just quit messing with it all (the paper work, the being sick in bed all day), suck it up, and ask my doctor to release me back to work.  I felt as if not going back to work made me look selfish and incapable, I had no idea it was actually what GOD wanted for me, too.

At my followup after my first six weeks out, I was certain I'd be returning to work on the following Monday (and had a good long meltdown about it too), but after talking with Dr. Harris for about 10 minutes, it was clear he was NOT going to release me.  The same thing happened at my appointment after the second six weeks out.  That, along with God providing in some financial ways that Brad and I weren't expecting let me know that God really was saying, "But this IS my plan for you."

For so long I had wanted to quit (before even getting pregnant).  For so long, my "light at the end of the tunnel" was having a baby at home to take care of (not BEING the one at home, needing to be taken care of).  And for so long, my pride (and Satan) told me that quitting my job was only a selfish thing to do and that I was a failure.  But over the past 4 or 5 weeks, I have CONTINUALLY heard God whispering, "But Carrie, this is my plan for you."  And He has continued to show us, sometimes daily, that we are right where we are supposed to be, doing exactly what He wants us to be doing.  So for that, I am thankful for Hyperemesis.

James had it right when he wrote to count it ALL joy.  Because of this trial, my faith has certainly been tested, but looking back, all I can see now is a strengthened relationship with my Heavenly Father.  Because of Hyperemesis, there were (and still are) days that I would spend 2 and 3 hours in the Word and in prayer - for this unborn baby and her life, for my husband and our relationship, for our friends and family and the various needs they have been facing, and for my own personal relationship with Jesus Christ - so for that, I am beyond thankful for Hyperemesis.

Ask, Seek, and Knock - No Barging In!

Have you ever heard that a song can take you back to a different place in time? Well I can tell you from personal experience that it does. I haven’t been able to listen to Dave Barnes for the past five years without getting an awful feeling in my stomach and an intense anger in my heart. I would listen to Mr. Barnes for HOURS at a time in my dorm room at Baylor and listening to him takes me right back to that room – 441, Collins Hall, some of the best and worst days of my life.


When getting ready for our wedding last summer, I found pictures of me in my high chair with a Baylor bib on. I can remember going to basketball games and touring the campus as an elementary student, and the trips I took to Waco once my brother became a student were some of my favorite times. I never bothered to ask God if Baylor was a part of his plan for me, I just assumed that the path I was on headed straight there.


I quickly learned, or rather – not so quickly – that wasn’t the case. I would study for HOURS for various tests, and put my whole heart into projects only to get back mediocre grades, sometimes even F’s. My grades were a huge reason that I decided to leave Baylor, but I believe that was the way God allowed me to realize I was NOT in the center of His will for my life. I wasn’t listening to Him in other ways, so he began to shut the door – I’m pretty sure each C, D, or F I received was a nail in the door making it impossible for me to be as successful I longed to be at Baylor. It was all I EVER wanted in life, but I never bothered to ask if it was what God wanted. And that is why it was so hard for me to be taken back to that place, I was angry that God DIDN’T allow me to have the same experience at Baylor that my brother and so many of my friends had. I was ashamed that I had failed, that I wasn’t able to be successful. And I was slowly slipping away from myself. My dreams and passions for life were slipping away, and I was shutting everyone around me out of my life. So listening to David Barnes would take be back to that very point in my life and those same feelings began to overwhelm me again.


Luke 11:9 says, “And I tell you, ASK, and it will be given to you; SEEK, and you will find; KNOCK, and it will be opened to you.” I’ve knocked on plenty of doors during the last 5 years, and I‘ve been earnestly seeking the path that God wanted me to travel but I selfishly opened doors based on my terms.

The last door I refused to shut was my desire to finish my accounting degree. It is something I could sit for hours and work through. Even the tough days and bad grades didn’t discourage me from continuing to work for my goal. But that was another door that I found myself forcing open rather than knocking and allowing God to open it for me – until He gently shut it behind me a month ago.

For those of you that have been following my status updates and notes over the past year, I have been on a journey of really finding myself and my path in life. I was laid off from a job I’d had for three years and had a difficult road following as I looked for a job. I had promising interviews that left me with no job offer, and a few job offers that left me with a troubled feeling. I thought I had finally reached the end of my journey when I received a job offer from a company where I would be their accounting manager. The week before I started, we celebrated, got prepared for the new “big girl” job, and breathed a little easier – but the one thing we didn’t bother to do was ASK God if this was a door he wanted me to walk through. Within a week of being in the position, I realized that God was telling me that was not His plan for my life, and neither was accounting.

So for those of you that have been wondering where the steel job went, it was never really mine to begin with. It’s given me a lot of closure, not just for accounting, but for other doors that God has closed behind me as well. I listened to an entire CD from Dave Barnes this morning and not once was there a sting of hurt or disappointment. On the contrary, there was a new feeling – a feeling of hope and promise.

I’ve learned a lot over the last 5 years, and even more over the past year, but the most important is the promise of Luke 9:11, to ASK first, then SEEK, then KNOCK – not once in that verse does it say to barge in, bust down, or ring the door bell so many times that God finally gets annoyed and lets you in. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future.’” So that is the promise I am clinging to now. I know that God has my best interest at heart and He won’t shut any door in my life without reason for a BETTER life to come.