My "After" Story - Part 2

I can remember vividly the first time anyone EVER mentioned that I had passed the point of “skinny” and just looked unhealthy. It was my 10th grade year (second semester because I had driven my own car) and I was at my best friend’s house, sitting in her computer room, talking with her mom. This was a scenario that happened almost every weekend beginning in 5th grade, but this night, there was an honesty and sense of concern in their voice TOWARDS me that had never been there before. I remember them saying that for a time it seemed as if my skeleton was just walking around. I was shocked, BAFFLED at their comments. I looked the same to myself. I could still point out at least 4 or 5 areas on my body that “needed some work.” I couldn’t even FATHOM what they were saying. But the looks on their faces and the tones in their voices challenged me to take a step back and really look at what I was doing to myself. I know it wasn’t an instant thing, but I began to see the difference in the happy, lively, healthy me and the addicted, controlling, exhausted me.

I think about this period in my life DAILY. Sometimes, I struggle with it. Sometimes, I hear the voice in my head that Satan has PERFECTED (How does he sound JUST like me?!), allowing me to believe I’m not good enough and that I’d be SO much happier if I gained control again. Other times, it challenges me in an area of faith, or allows me to use my story to challenge someone I'm speaking to (whether I use it directly or indirectly).

But NEVER in the past 7 years has it challenged me in the way it has over the past week. Coming off an entire weekend of challenging 8 amazing 7th grade young ladies to dig into the Word DAILY, I was challenged myself.

One of the sessions was talking about the importance of the Word and how we are to cling to it and learn it and cherish it. The Word is our source of spiritual survival. It is our direct link with God. It is a love letter written to guide, direct, and challenge us to live our lives in a way that pleases Him.

Isaiah 55:8-11 (NLT) says – “My thoughts are not your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts. The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with My Word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It WILL accomplish all I want it to, and it WILL prosper everywhere I send it.”

I learned a very powerful truth from verse 11 as I walked through the session with those girls.

We don’t go 6 days without eating a meal, and then on the 7th day head up to the Cracker Barrel or IHop, eat a big breakfast, and expect to be FULFILLED for the next 6 days.

Verse 11 says that His WORD is the same as the grain that is grown to feed the hungry. His Word is our spiritual nourishment. So why if we wouldn’t go 6 days without eating, would we go 6 days without reading his Word. And why, after going those 6 days without reading His Word, do we expect to be fulfilled from a Sunday school lesson and a sermon from the pulpit?

There are no crash diets with Jesus. No V8 juice drinks to down on your way to work. We are to sit down daily and spend time in His Word, allowing Him to feed us.

We simply CAN’T survive without feeding our bodies. And our SPIRITUAL lives can’t survive if we don’t feed those.

So what does our spiritual life look like? Are we "full"? If that’s where you fall, that’s awesome, keep enjoying those wonderful “meals” you’re having with Jesus. But what about the rest of us? Does your spiritual life resemble that of an anorexic? Just as someone that doesn’t give their body the nutrients they need is guaranteed to crash at some point, so are those of us that are starving ourselves from the nourishment of God’s Word.

And as I mentioned in the note leading into this one, think about your “after” picture. You might be building a GREAT testimony (or so you tell yourself) that some 8th grade girl or 11th grade boy will connect with someday. You may be having all the fun in the world right now. You might look in the mirror and see something that “pleases” you. Not because it’s right, but because you have become so good at lying to yourself and allowing yourself to believe that “you’re okay!”

Look to your future and think about what will be waiting for you there. Is the body you are starving now going to be filled with physical and emotional pain and scars because of the damage you are doing now?

I would challenge you to just TASTE the Word, sometimes that’s all someone suffering from anorexia needs to get out of the addiction. Maybe you’re farther in than you thought; maybe you’ve been starving yourself for way too long. Sometimes someone suffering from anorexia has to seek out help, and this might be where you are. But wherever you are, DIG IN!