To the allergy momma - One Year Later

One year ago today I got a nice little list of 10 things that had wreaked havoc on my baby girl’s body - some of them daily, some of them from the moment she had been born. You could say it’s been a year of LOTS of learning.  I remember sitting there in the doctor's office thinking, "This isn't THAT big of a deal. It's only ten. It could have been worse." And then reality set in of how BIG some of those 10 are. Every single one has snuck in on us in one way or another over the last year, but as our doctor said yesterday, "Ignorance is not always bliss."

Our little Allergy Warrior has AMAZED us this year!

To the new allergy momma,

Take a deep breath. The days and weeks to come are gonna be rough. But you’re gonna make it. You will survive this and come out stronger. You WILL get the hang of this new life and learn how to be the fiercest advocate your child needs.

But hold on tight, there are tireless days ahead. LONG trips to the grocery store.  Expensive trips to the grocery store. And a lot of wasted “tries” at finding “replacements.” There will be frustrations as you slip up and watch your child have that dreaded reaction because you missed something and the guilt will be almost unbearable. But that overwhelming guilt is because of your fierce love for your child.

I’ll leave you with the top 10 things I’ve learned in the last year:

1. These babes are resilient.
2. Make it all, from scratch. It’s so much easier and will give you complete piece of mind.
3. Look for yourself. Not everyone will “get it” and that’s okay...check the labels for yourself, every time. I’ll repeat that: Check the labels every time.
4. Find your tribe - shout out the Allergy Moms page on FB for being mine.
5. It’s okay to not be okay with all of this, but know it WILL eventually be okay.
6. Forgive yourself. Quickly. You’re going to mess up, so own it, take note, and move on. (I can guarantee you it won’t happen twice.)
7. Be prepared to do a LOT of dishes. (See item 2...which doesn’t even touch cross contamination.)
8. Write it all down. Think there’s a new reaction? Write it down. Have a question for the doc? Write it down. There are going to be a million things going through your head every day, you’ll never remember it all. But your Notes App will. (Which is where I typed this whole post out to begin with.)
9. Don’t look at anything else out there except what your child can eat. Research on “growing out of it,” food challenges, therapies can all wait. Get a grasp on what foods are safe first.
10. Pray. Trust God with ALL of it.  This is all a part of His story He is writing, and He can use it for His glory. #HisStoryHisGlory

Well, I couldn’t stop at 10, so here are a few *bonus* things I’ve learned.

11. Eating out is a thing of the past.
12. When you DO get the hang of things and venture out, enjoy the same restaurant 500 times in a row. 
13. You WILL cry in the middle of the grocery store. And it will take you an hour and a half to find 7 items that total $100. (Only the last part was exaggerated…by like a dollar.)
14. Just because something is “safe” today, doesn’t mean it will be “safe” tomorrow - this includes restaurants AND store bought foods.
15. It is empowering when your child starts to figure it out for themselves. Be ready, your heart might explode.

New allergy momma, I can guarantee you that it will ALL be worth it!

Our pantry before and after removing everything she couldn't eat.
(Some left on the right was for mom and dad to eat!)

One year ago this week - The day before, the day of, and the day after.
Her sweet smile helped us all and lifted our spirits.

And life today with these outside-loving besties. SUCH a joy!

I'll leave you with a quote/dedication I read in one of the new cookbooks we were given in the days following: "To all of the children whose dietary restrictions created division, isolation, or sacrifice.  May these recipes bring you comfort, inclusion, and joy in both your healthful journeys and life's many celebrations." YES! This is how we've chosen to live.

Potty Praises

One month.  Somehow it's already been an entire month, but it seriously seems like yesterday since I wrote this post ::Diaper Days to Diaper Years:: updating you on an area that we were desperate for friends and family to join us in praying over.

I KNOW that God is able to do anything at all in this world, no matter how impossible it seems (or how "unimportant" it may feel)...but I just really didn't know what to expect or even what those answered prayers would look like.  I was prepared for months of agonizing over this issue.  I had no idea how to know if those "big issues" (like nerve damage) were going to get in our way or how to really TRAIN Bryleigh on using the potty (other than telling her every 5 seconds to go sit on the potty...which hadn't worked).

We had/have a follow up appointment set up for March with our GI doctor.  I really thought we were going to painfully pass the days until that appointment, giving it our very best effort, and then I would bring up all of my questions and concerns to him, hoping he would be able to help us figure out about things like nerve damage and tips to keeping the pull up clean and dry.

{{BUT GOD.}}  God had FAR better plans for us.  He has spent the last month reminding us that HE is in control of our lives, that He loves our girl far more than we could ever imagine, that He has good plans for us, and that He cares about every little thing that affects us (including potty training).

In the last month, this one has worked like daddy, baked a cake from scratch, 

gone grocery shopping, taken her bible to church and bible study, 

played massive amounts of dress up, danced in the rain, 

and...CRUSHED IT AT POTTY TRAINING.

The month started with enthusiasm from Bryleigh.  A very quick answer to prayer there.  She was genuinely on board with the potty training and began to take ownership of what we were doing, as opposed to the crying and major anxiety any time we had tried in the past.

A big breakthrough came for us when I sat on the couch at their chiropractor's office  (which has become beneficial beyond anything I could have ever imagined or could begin to explain) a week after my last blog post, and she opened up my eyes to where we truly were.  She encouraged us to treat the potty training area of B's life as if she were a 2 year old, since that is essentially where her body was in the process.  We talked through that and it really made sense to me.  Taking the anger/discipline out of it, I feel, was a huge turning point for all of us.  That one conversation freed me from getting so upset over her not "getting it," which made her 100 times more comfortable.

The next big breakthrough came the following week when I was getting Will out of the bathtub and ready for bed - which includes drying him off, dressing him, brushing his teeth, combing his hair...etc - and Bryleigh informed me (while still in the bath) she needed to use the potty.  I told her to hold it as best she could and I'd get to her as quick as possible.  I rushed the process with Will, and as I was coming back into the bathroom, she had a look of terror on her face...she had just peed in the bath.  And you know what, Brad (on FaceTime) and I CHEERED FOR HER.  We cheered for her because she KNEW she needed to potty and then she held it for a good 10 minutes while I tried to get Will taken care of.  We let her know over and over how proud of her we were, and for the first time I really felt like we were going to be able to give this a good shot.  This meant that she had enough nerves/feeling to know when she needed to go and the ability to hold it, at least for some time. HUGE ANSWER TO PRAYER AND MAJOR PRAISE!!!! We've praised God for this a million times since that moment.

Since that day we've taken steps forwards and backwards and sideways and every other way, but here we are a month later, and I can honestly say our girl is making major progress.  The last two weeks have been major steps forward to getting her completely trained and ready for PRESCHOOL in the fall...which coincidentally registration opens up TODAY.  I never imagined this day would come and we'd be able to confidently sign her up.  I really thought we'd be holding out until the very last moment praying there was a spot still open and then praying every day that she'd make it through with no accidents (which I will probably still do...). BUT GOD.

Live Intentional in 2016

Each year, I spend a little time looking at the year ahead and setting some goals for myself to shoot for in the new year.  Over the past few years, I've honestly been able to achieve more of those goals than I imagined I could as I let go of being "perfect" at each goal and just strived for progress in each area.  Those goals have looked a lot like this:

The thing I have loved more than setting these goals for myself is choosing a word to focus on in the upcoming year because they've always ended up being the perfect word for that year.  Some years, they've come in at the last second, and other years they're as obvious as if God lit up a neon billboard with blinking lights and a large arrow saying, "This is your word, Carrie." (FYI: That's pretty much what happened this year.)

One thing I have learned in claiming these words (I would have said "choosing" them, but I feel like God has declared the words for me) is that you have to be very careful.  It's like praying for patience and you end up feeling a little more like Job than you ever expected, like every day is a new test more difficult than the one before.

Two years ago, my word was endurance - I ended up being 4 days overdue, in labor for over 18 hours and in delivery for about 2 more hours, had a newborn baby with the obvious lack of sleep and daily life lessons, and we rounded out the year with 3 surgeries and 100+ days of home health.  This past year, my word was joy - and although most days were fairly easy to find joy in some way or another, I never dreamed I'd be challenged so much in such a short amount of time when a very wanted pregnancy became a very unwanted miscarriage.  I fought to find joy in the days and months that followed.

As 2015 is coming to a close, I have had NO trouble knowing what my 2016 word should be.  God has been making it obvious for a few months now, and He has continually confirmed and reaffirmed it in various ways.

I remember at the end of my first year in BSF (May 2015), my summer-long prayer request was to be INTENTIONAL with my time.  That one word has continually come to mind time and time again since then.  I'm not sure when exactly God put it on my heart, but I know it is right where He is really working in my life right now.

...And there it is, right there at the bottom of that screenshot above - BEING INTENTIONAL.  So apparently my 2016 word came all the way at the beginning of 2015, and I'm just now realizing it at the end of 2015.  Sometimes God just works like that ;)

So for 2016, I'm not focusing on a whole list of goals in different areas of my life, I'm just focusing on one thing: LIVING INTENTIONALLY - with our finances, with my health, with relationships, with parenting and my time with Bryleigh, with my prayer life, with my relationship with Christ, and every area of my life in between.  And of course, I will continue to find JOY and give thanks in each and every moment, of each and every day the Lord gives me.

2015 – A *JOYFUL* Year in Review

I have loved sharing our life with friends and family on our blog over the past few years, and one of my favorite posts each year is our “Year in Review.”  This year was full of blessings from God coupled with His mercy and grace through some tougher times.  It’s always so amazing to look back and see how God continually took care of us along the way.  So without further ado, here’s our Top 15 in 2015…

15.  Celebrating Bryleigh.  We kicked off 2015 celebrating our sweet little girl at her 1^st birthday party.  We had so much fun making new memories, starting traditions, and celebrating her life with friends and family.  It was truly wonderful to top off her first year of life with a Onederland birthday party, complete with Christmas trees, snowflakes, and Hopkins County Stew.  I am thankful for a beautiful baby girl that reminds me of God’s miracles and great love every single day and thankful to be celebrating her sweet little life to kick off 2016.

14.  Growing Pains.  Bryleigh's 1st birthday also meant the dreaded Well Check visit.  These had been pretty routine for us during B's first year.  She was meeting all her milestones and doing great with all of the recommended vaccines, but her One-Year well check ended up leading to some follow up appointments regarding her size and a year-long question that we still don't really have answers for.  (Bryleigh's growth had fallen from 95-99 percentile down to the 60's.)  We followed up a few times as her growth started to level out and our pediatrician was sure Bryleigh was just getting settled in to a new percentile.  (Let's face it, if you have been around Bryleigh, you know she is very happy and healthy!!) However, over the summer, Bryleigh began to have some other health issues that have left us with more questions that answers at this point.  We've spent a lot of money on diapers, a lot of time at Cook's, and ZERO (almost) time researching related issues on the Internet.  I am thankful that we have incredible doctors we are working with, modern technology and medicine at our disposal, and most of all, that we serve the ultimate Healer.  I am thankful that although 2016 will have more follow ups, God is with us and knows every detail about Bryleigh's body.  (And insurance.  I'm thankful for insurance.)

13.  Getaways.  Last year, we focused a whole lot on “Bryleigh’s First,” from her first smile, to her first steps and everything in between, but we celebrated a big FIRST this year ourselves…our first night away!  Mimi and Pappy came and stayed with our little Miss while we headed to Dallas for a Valentine’s dinner and a night at the Ritz, followed by brunch at Crossroads Diner.  It was the perfect getaway for us (for me), and Brad was still able to spend some time with Bryleigh while he was home over the weekend.  (We LOVE celebrating the holidays…all of them, both together and as a family.)  I am thankful for family that steps in to help out with our little one, and I am thankful for a husband that takes time for us and makes me feel so special.  I’m thankful for all the moment’s he’ll steal away for us in 2016.

12.  No More Years.  Not only do we like to celebrate holidays in our family, we just like to CELEBRATE in general.  So when my mom retired after teaching at Sulphur Springs ISD for 25 years, we had to celebrate in a big way.  I was so glad to be able to be with my mom for her last week before her Endless Summer began, and I loved being able to pull off some fun surprises for her, along with my brother and dad.  There were parties at her school, a dinner with family and friends, and a surprise trip from my brother and his family.  There were also a few “prizes” along the way!  I am so thankful that God provided my mom with a career that she loved and was so gifted in but also allowed her to be home with my brother and I any time we were out of school.  I’m also very thankful that 2016 will bring lots of new exciting things with mom’s new freedom in her time, she’s already making the most of it!

11.  New Car (New Freedom).  After 2.5 years of only having one car, we decided to make a BIG purchase and get a family car!  We celebrated paying OFF Brad's car in February, and went two months without a car payment.  Now that is something to celebrate!!  New cars are always fun, but when schedules are as crazy as ours, with early morning/late night trips to and from the airport, adding a second car was SUCH a blessing for us.  We made the whole "One-Car" thing work for us, but it has been so nice to have the freedom a second car allows for.  (And we finished up the night we purchased our car in the closet due to tornado warnings...something we won't ever forget!)  I am thankful for the Lord's provision for our family over the years and for all He will provide in 2016.

10.  Snow Days.  Not only did we spend quite a few moments in the closet this spring due to tornado warnings, but we also enjoyed several snow days!  Thankfully, Daddy was even home to enjoy a few of them with us, and he had a few of his own in North Carolina.  We made a lot of memories in our little back yard on Velvet Antler this year, and the snow days were some of my favorite ones.  Our little girl's love for the outdoors completely blossomed over 2015.  What we did not love was driving to one of Bryleigh's follow up doctor's appointment in blizzard-like weather, turning our 10-15 minute drive in to almost an hour, and the ride home was even longer!  And you better believe we made snow ice cream. ;)  I am thankful for unbelievably fun memories with our little family (and for the two of them that are along for the ride every step of the way).  I am so thankful for all of the memories we will make in 2016.

9.  Living for the Weekends (Still).  I never knew that my husband could be gone Sunday/Monday through Thursday and I would be okay.  It used to terrify me, but somehow, we've made it work for our little family.  Although we would LOVE more time together and a little bit easier schedule, we definitely make the most of our time together and it has taught us to appreciate each other more.  I am thankful that God has sustained us during this season of our lives and all the time we've spent apart, and I'm thankful that He has gone before us in 2016 to make the days apart quick and the time together very special!

8.  Our Teams.  We obviously love sports, and cheering on our teams always brings a little more joy. We were able to cheer on the Rangers at the Ballpark some great games including Opening Sunday, Josh Hamilton's comeback, Cole Hamel's first start, and the Rangers WINNING the AL West.  Brad has enjoyed going to the Cowboy's games with his dad all season, and I even got to go to one with him!  There hasn't been much to cheer for their, but we love them anyways! ;) And one of our favorite games of the season was traveling all the way to DC to see Bryce Harper and the Nats!!  I am thankful for all the things Brad and I have in common, including our love for sports, but I'm thankful that on years like this one (FULL of disappoints), we know life is so much more than our teams winning a few games.  I'm really thankful that 2016 is a new year with a few less quarterback injuries (we're looking at you - cowboys, bears, and broncos).

7.  Will Run for Chocolate.  The number 1 reason I started running was to run in the Dallas Hot Chocolate 5k with my momma!  It was well worth it and such a fun experience.  I'm proud to be a runner (although I'm not much of one these days), and I look forward to all the miles I'll put on my Asics in 2016.  I'm thankful that my mom has taken her health and staying in shape seriously and the impact it has made on me, as well as the memories we've made sharing in all kinds of experiences.  I'm thankful for the 2016 Hot Chocolate and all the other miles we'll run together in the days ahead.

6.  Bryleigh Girl's First (round 2).  Just because Bryleigh's first year is behind us doesn't mean our lives aren't full of "Firsts" on a regular basis.  Our sweet little trooper, who is always along for the ride, went on her first flight and had the flu for the first (and hopefully last) time this year.  She's also sported her first ponytail, attended her first, and second Rangers games, and she's tried a whole lot of foods for the first time (including chocolate chip cookies and ice cream)!  She took her first trip to the zoo and her first trip to Waco, Baylor's campus, and the Bear Pit.  The biggest first this year - STEPS.  We celebrated a new year with our new little walker, and she hasn't slowed down since!! I am thankful for the firsts we celebrated in 2015 and the ones to come in 2016!

5.  Glory Baby.  I've mentioned before that the "top moments" aren't necessarily the "best moments" from the previous year but rather the ones that have shaped our family the most, and losing our precious little baby is definitely something we won't ever forget - nor is it "just a moment." I wrote back in April when I shared the news that for the first time in my blogging history I "didn't have the words," and that maybe at some point I would...well, I still don't  I've learned a lot over the past 8 months, and I've learned more about finding  JOY than I really bargained for at the beginning of this year, but I just still don't have the words...So I'll leave you with some pictures of that time instead ;)  I am thankful that we serve a God who heals our broken hearts, and I am thankful that He will minister to us in 2016 through all the highs and lows that come our way.  I am thankful that He has far better plans for our family than we do ourselves.

But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. Ps 71: 14

4.  2015 Holidays.  As I mentioned early, we like to celebrate EVERYTHING in this family, so we make the most of all the holidays.  The older Bryleigh gets, the more she understands, and the more she gets in to all the celebrating as well.  By the end of Christmas she was singing the songs, opening her presents, and getting excited over all the lights.  I am so looking forward to making more memories with her, and the rest of our family, in 2016.  I am so thankful for all the memories God allowed us to create in 2015 and thankful for the ones ahead of us in 2016.

3.  BCinDC.  Brad and I celebrated SIX years of marriage this year, and we decided to take a little anniversary trip.  It was our first time to be away for more than one night, so we decided to go over a weekend.  We also used it as an opportunity to check some items off our bucket list - including a trip to DC, two ballparks, and crab cakes at Jimmy's Famous Seafood.  We loved our time away, just the two of us, and we truly fell in love with the city.  We still have days where we miss being there, and we can't wait to go back again soon.  We LOVED getting to see this years NL MVP, Bryce Harper, who played in MVP fashion - great base running, great fielding, and to top it all off, a home run!!  I am thankful for 6 years of life with my husband and for the "Lucky Number 7" ahead of us!

2.  MPBCBinNYC.  My absolute most favorite place on the planet is New York City.  I'm normally ready to go back "next time" before we even leave "this time," and this trip was no different!  This year, we got to do a lot of things we had never done before, including the Central Park Zoo, Serendipity 3, ice skating at Rockefeller Center, and a trip to Eloise in the Plaza.  Of course there were a few repeats like Shake Shack, Ellen's Stardust Diner, and the best view of The City - Top of the Rock.  We won't talk about the fact that Bryleigh got the FLU the day before we left.  She was such a trooper and loved her first trip to The City!!  I am so thankful that God allowed us to go on this memorable trip this year and for the countless ways He took care of us while we were there, and I am thankful for the unexpected blessings for 2016 He has coming our way. 

1.  Family Fun.  We have the BEST family in the world.  Bryleigh is blessed with 2 amazing aunts, the coolest uncle, the funnest cousins, and the most incredible grandparents.  She is surrounded by love, as every little girl should be.  There are obviously a million (and that's probably not much of an exaggeration) pictures I could have filled this collage with below from all the memories we made this year.  We were blessed with lots of time over the past year with our families, and we are looking forward to all the time together in 2016!  I am so thankful for the incredible family God has blessed us with and the memories we made this year, and I am thankful for all He has in store for our family in 2016.