Rest, My Friend.

Let's talk about New Years.  I know, I know. It's not even Christmas yet, but before you send out a witch hunt and go all "No Christmas before Halloween = No New Years before Christmas" on me, let me share my thoughts.

Normally, as we are wrapping up Christmas (the holiday, not the presents), I start to look toward the new year and pray over what the year might look like, what God has for me and my family, and what can I do to improve on the last year.  (I also REALLY like to look back on all God has done in our family over the past year, but that's for another post... really in the new year!)  Sometime in those final weeks/days, I'll pray and ask God to give me a certain word. In years past, He's given it to me at many different times in different ways and for different reasons, sometimes when I wasn't even really asking Him for it yet.  (This is my 5th year to share about my word/verse for the year here on my blog. You can read the other ones HERE.)

I honestly thought this year was going to be a little different. God has put PRAYER on my heart, heavily.  If you've talked with me in any sort of accountability form over the last 2 years or so, you know this is an area I feel like I've really struggled.  Not that I can't/don't pray, but that I am not INTENTIONAL in my prayer time.  As a momma to two, some days being totally on my own, I do my best to get up as the littlest wakes up, and the time after they go to sleep is spent furiously getting things done that are easier done with 2 hands than 6.  This leaves little time for Jesus. I (I, me, in all the bold, italics, underlined, and capital letters) leave little time for Jesus.  I have spent time in God's word studying for two different bible studies and following an unknown number of She Reads Truth studies.  I spend time in prayer, praying for friends and our families' requests, as well as our own, but when you are talking "go deeper, dig harder, listen to the Father intimately" kind of prayer... I "just don't have the time," or at least I don't make the time that I know He deserves.

I've studied prayer and practiced prayer and journaled prayers over the years, even in the last two, but if I'm being honest, I've not given God the time He deserves.  It's something I've prayed about and asked others to pray about as well.  Although I'm still not "there" yet, He's been gracious in giving me some ideas about how to be intentional in 2019 with prayer, and I'm excited to implement those things.  I'm also excited about the desire He has given me in my heart to make this an area of great discipline in my life.  The fact that the God of the universe PURSUES us is just astounding! Praise God, He does!!

So back to the whole "word" thing.  Like I said, I was really feeling like He was pulling me away from a specific word this year and calling me more to focus on the specific spiritual discipline of prayer.  But over the last week, He might as well have put it in flashing lights (and if I could in this blog, I would...) But it would have read: REST.  I've had people SPEAK this over me, I have had people text this to me, and then I had a wedding photographer I follow EMAIL it to me.  If I am being honest, she emailed it to all, however-many-thousand email subscribers she has, but she might as well have sent it straight to me, becuase there in the subject of her email read: Rest, my friend.  I honestly can't even tell you how many times those words have been given to me (in some fashion) over the last few weeks.

So here I am, gearing up for 2019... a year that starts with a wedding, adds a newborn baby to our family in Spring, another wedding over the Summer, and who knows what else is to come... but God knows, and HE is the one that is calling me to rest.  I don't know what that looks like exactly (with a 5 year old, 2 year old, and newborn baby... and a husband gone, a lot), but I know that He will show me.

And here's the thing, I'm really good at making plans.  I'm good at taking time and writing it all out and coming up with all these steps and ideas, and even listening as God gives me those ideas, but I'm not good at the next part, STARTING.  So rather than waiting to start with this resting and intentional prayer in 2019, I'm starting today, right now.  So like I said, I have no idea what this looks like, but I know that God will direct each step (or let me know when to not take those steps).

Serve is the Word in 2018

Okay guys.  I seriously dropped the ball, or should I say...entire basket of fruit on my 2017 word of the year.  I had every intention of being SUPER intentional and focusing on a different fruit of the spirit each month, diving in deep and learning what God had to say about each one...but I didn't.  (I still hope to do this at some point because it really is one of my favorite passages of scripture, and I know it is filled with so many truths, pointing to many different passages and themes in the bible.)  I went a little to crazy on that one, so I will be dialing it back this year and focusing on one single word...one single truth: SERVE. (Just kidding...I had been working on this before God spoke to me about adding another word...but I'll get to that)

I've mentioned before that some years, I have had to really search out what God is speaking over me where these words are involved (like this year's 2017 word coming in at the 11th hour), and other times it is as clear as can be for weeks (even months) ahead.

But this year, this word is different.  God has been speaking this word over me and to my heart for almost an entire year.  We were barely into 2017 when I began to hear Him nudging me to this years word: SERVE.  As we studied through John last year in BSF, one of the lessons about how Jesus SERVED stuck with me.  Over the past year, I have repeatedly seen Him highlighting this area in my life.

**I fully anticipated having one single word to focus on this year, but when God speaks...you listen! ;) So December 30, during the course of a conversation, someone quickly mentioned the word SURRENDER.  It didn't strike me too much at the time, but the idea behind what she was discussing stuck out to me and was something I knew I needed more of in my life (as in surrendering to my husband in marriage the way we should surrender our life to God).  And then...December 31...final hours of the year, I heard it again.  This time it was in a song, "I Surrender All," that was playing on the radio while I was driving.  I have felt as the Lord has led me before, and I knew he was doing so again.

So this year, while there are two words, I feel like they definitely work hand in hand, and as I learn to surrender to the Lord and His will for my life, I will serve Him out of the overflow of my love for Him. Surrender + Serve.

Here's the song I was listening to as I clearly heard the Lord telling me to just SURRENDER to Him in 2018.  So here I am, at the beginning of this year with my hands open, held out to Him, expectant of what is to come, knowing that He will cover it all.

A Fruitful 2017

I have chosen a word and a verse to think on, pray about, and live out each year for the past several years - 2014 was endurance, 2015 was joy, and 2016 was intentional.

And let me correct myself quickly, I haven't exactly chosen it as much as I've felt called by God to claim it (or work on it) in my life.

I thought endurance would be great in 2014 because I was starting the year with delivering a baby (talk about the need for endurance!?) and then raising that sweet little newborn, but what I did not know was all the endurance I would need for all that God had planned for us that year (Brad's 3 surgeries, 20 weeks of home health, and the beginning of his weekly travel to North Carolina).

My word for 2015 was one God repeatedly showed me I needed to work on - JOY.  I had very little of it in my life, and I just felt extremely negative all of the time.  I chose to claim that word and study it throughout the year, including reading "The Greatest Gift" by Ann Voskamp, where I began to track my #1000gifts.  It was a game changer for me, and although I still need work in that area, I know God did a great work in my life because of that word.

Some years I fall flat on my face.  I didn't FORGET about my word for 2016, and certainly did not forget my verse - {And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Colossians 3:17} - but I certainly didn't make any of the efforts I intended to in order to live intentionally.  Although 2016 is behind us, my goal for 2017 is to be a little more intentional with all that God has given me and called me to - as a wife, a mother, a friend, and a daughter of the King.

Those three words came to me over the course of months leading up to the end of the prior year, and I really expected it to always go that way.  I figured God would always put something on my heart to work on or claim for the upcoming year, but lately, all I've heard is radio silence!! I've prayed and prayed, and here we are, 4 days before year end (as I type this...) and I didn't have a specific word as of 8:00 this morning.  I'd been thinking about a few and praying for some direction, but nothing was really standing out to me the way it normally does.

That was until I was standing in my bathroom, ticked off at my husband for something that Satan was turning in to a much bigger deal than it actually was, and I thought, "Boy do I need some patience.  Maybe THAT should be my 2017 word?!"

But have you ever prayed for patience?!  I'm pretty sure I did as a 6th grader and I'm still getting the lessons thrown my way, 18 years later...I could give you a laundry list of the things I've "waited on" or "waited out" or "patiently endured."

Over the past week, I've also considered a few others, like LOVE, and JOY, and PEACE...and then it hit me...FRUIT.  I need each of those areas to improve in my life. I WANT each of those areas to improve in my life.  I want my life to bear the FRUIT of Christ, showing love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and faithfulness and gentleness and self-control.  (The irony is not lost on me that my word for the year is a word that - in different context - has rocked our world a bit over the last 2 years...)

Over the years, I have loved studying the passage in Galatians chapter 5 that discusses this very topic and plan on studying it over the next 12 months - and each month I'll focus on one of the words.  So here's to a LOVING January, a JOYFUL February, a PEACEFUL March, a PATIENT April, a KIND May, a GOOD June, a FAITHFUL July, a GENTLE August, and a SELF-CONTROLLED September.  And I'll swing back around for a second round of those words for the last quarter of the year...you know, the Holidays when you could use a little more of each area! ;)  Here's to a year of FRUIT in 2017!

Live Intentional in 2016

Each year, I spend a little time looking at the year ahead and setting some goals for myself to shoot for in the new year.  Over the past few years, I've honestly been able to achieve more of those goals than I imagined I could as I let go of being "perfect" at each goal and just strived for progress in each area.  Those goals have looked a lot like this:

The thing I have loved more than setting these goals for myself is choosing a word to focus on in the upcoming year because they've always ended up being the perfect word for that year.  Some years, they've come in at the last second, and other years they're as obvious as if God lit up a neon billboard with blinking lights and a large arrow saying, "This is your word, Carrie." (FYI: That's pretty much what happened this year.)

One thing I have learned in claiming these words (I would have said "choosing" them, but I feel like God has declared the words for me) is that you have to be very careful.  It's like praying for patience and you end up feeling a little more like Job than you ever expected, like every day is a new test more difficult than the one before.

Two years ago, my word was endurance - I ended up being 4 days overdue, in labor for over 18 hours and in delivery for about 2 more hours, had a newborn baby with the obvious lack of sleep and daily life lessons, and we rounded out the year with 3 surgeries and 100+ days of home health.  This past year, my word was joy - and although most days were fairly easy to find joy in some way or another, I never dreamed I'd be challenged so much in such a short amount of time when a very wanted pregnancy became a very unwanted miscarriage.  I fought to find joy in the days and months that followed.

As 2015 is coming to a close, I have had NO trouble knowing what my 2016 word should be.  God has been making it obvious for a few months now, and He has continually confirmed and reaffirmed it in various ways.

I remember at the end of my first year in BSF (May 2015), my summer-long prayer request was to be INTENTIONAL with my time.  That one word has continually come to mind time and time again since then.  I'm not sure when exactly God put it on my heart, but I know it is right where He is really working in my life right now.

...And there it is, right there at the bottom of that screenshot above - BEING INTENTIONAL.  So apparently my 2016 word came all the way at the beginning of 2015, and I'm just now realizing it at the end of 2015.  Sometimes God just works like that ;)

So for 2016, I'm not focusing on a whole list of goals in different areas of my life, I'm just focusing on one thing: LIVING INTENTIONALLY - with our finances, with my health, with relationships, with parenting and my time with Bryleigh, with my prayer life, with my relationship with Christ, and every area of my life in between.  And of course, I will continue to find JOY and give thanks in each and every moment, of each and every day the Lord gives me.