I've debated putting anything out there on these topics...I've debated putting only pieces out there on these topics...and I've debated putting everything out there on these topics - some is obviously extremely personal. I've decided that if this journey continues to be a long, difficult one with days that are painful and unsure, I want my story out there so that it might help someone else in a similar situation.
After 10 years of struggling, I'm not sure where I am in this journey. We could be a few months away from healing and happy endings, or we could have 10 more years ahead of us with struggles and questions, so I'm going to write about my experiences and what I learn about Endometriosis and PCOS over the days and weeks to come in hopes that it can encourage and educate someone else that is like me.
The first issue we are dealing with is a fear of infertility. I have been off birth control since June of 2011...my heart wanted to be a mom even before that...so we've had some difficult days over the past year and a half/two years. I've held countless "negative" pregnancy tests, the worst one coming when I was 3 weeks late and CONVINCED it was finally my turn. So far, God's answer to my prayer has been "Not yet." I have told those closest to me... "God knows my babies birth dates. I find my peace and hope in that." More recently, I have added that He also knows their skin color ;) *For those that know me, they know that adoption from Africa has been a passion/desire of mine since I was a little girl.
The other issue is one I have been dealing with for a decade now. I've shared before my health struggles that I've faced over the years, including this blog that I wrote in 2009. I had my first, severe stomach pains Spring Break of my sophomore year. I was 16. By 17, I had my first colonoscopy and had been to several different specialists including pediatric doctors with multiple tests and scans. I had an upper GI, gallbladder scans/tests, a day-long test for diabetes (which including fasting, drinking "straight sugar," and getting all 10 of my fingers pricked...twice), cat scans and MRIS, lots of sticks for drawing blood...and those are just the things I can REMEMBER. Needless to say, I've felt like a science experiment.
Other times, I felt weak...and a little crazy. Sometimes I would wonder if there was actually anything wrong. And then I'd have another episode...there was no faking that, and I KNEW there was something going on in my body that wasn't normal.
From time to time, I'd have a doctor make a back-handed diagnosis of a vague medical condition...and then nothing. No ideas for next steps, no suggestions about what to do next. Defeated would be the one word I'd use to describe my journey. I often felt like I'd have to silently endure those episodes for the rest of my life.
In 2007, I was due for my yearly check up with an OB/Gyn. I was also new to Arlington and without a doctor, so I asked around. Several of my family members that lived in Arlington and Julie Gilliland (who I worked with at Fielder) went to a doctor that they all just loved. I figured I'd give him a shot.
To make a long story short, I spilled the past several years on him at my appointment and he was ready to help me face things head on and figure out what was going on inside my body.
I was quickly diagnosed with Endometriosis. Shortly after, I went through my first procedure followed by 6 months of injections. I had no idea what endometriosis was, what it caused (and prevented...), and what I needed to do to take care of myself.
I spent a few more years still suffering with the same episodes and trying to find doctors that could help me feel better. Another colonoscopy to see if anything new had developed and check for celiac disease, a few trips to the ER with pain that I couldn't get under control, and a test where I was strapped to the table and drank nasty stuff WHILE the table moved and a machine watched my insides - like I said earlier...a science experiment.
Enough was enough for me. I started to take note of my own body and what was going on. I did my own research...over the years I've gotten pretty good at knowing what's going on in my body. I realized that my problem was DEFINITELY cyclical...and if it was cyclical, it was a female problem.
Everything kept pointing back to endometriosis. I knew I needed help getting things under control, I knew I needed a specialist. My best friend just so happened to be going to a doctor that WAS a specialist in this area. (Several years ago, I even went with her to an appointment and met him...Crazy!) I had been searching for a specialist for 2 years...and ended up moving 2 MINUTES from his office.
This brings us up to date - I had my first appointment with Dr. Howard today. I learned more about Endometriosis in those 45 minutes than I have in the past 5 years. Every type of pain and problem I have stems from this very condition. It felt SO good to find a doctor that understands what is going on in my body, and even better...knows how to help me!
Todays appointment only verified that endometriosis is the cause of almost all of my problems. Along the way, I have also been diagnosed with IBS. Dr. Howard verified that these go hand in hand, and that a third condition known as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is very likely present as well.
We have decided that I do need the procedure again to clean out anything that has popped up in the last 5 years and for Dr. Howard to be able to assess what all is going on right now (and what our chances of a natural pregnancy are). Once I've had the procedure, I'll have the injections again for 4 months, and then we'll be able to try and get a little Baby Hammons on the way!
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