I don’t know about you, but I watch a LOT of movies, and any one with a “Cinderella” theme will quickly make it to my “All Time Favorites” list. With that being said, I’ve probably seen The Princess Diaries a hundred times, and one of my favorite scenes is when Mia makes her way down the stairs to enter one of her first royal engagements, a dinner party. Although she is still learning what it means to be a Princess, she’s got the walk down! She glides so smoothly down the stairs, with her hand gently resting on the curved stair’s banister. She makes it look effortless. She IS a Princess in that moment.
I don’t think I’ve quite mastered the walk that would show the world I’m a daughter of the King. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure my spiritual body has scar-covered knees and bruises on the palms of my hands from busting it so many times.
Psalm 10:4 tells us that "In his pride, the wicked does not seek Him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God." OUCH, that’s a tough one to hear. In my prideful moments, I have literally PUSHED God out of my life. There simply wasn’t room for Him. I believe there have been so many times in my life that I have allowed my pride to take over my emotions – the least of those being: trying out for mascot, attending Baylor, and majoring in accounting – and I failed to give the glory or thanks to the One who made it all happen.
Spring Break always brings back such crazy memories for me because from 7th grade to my senior year of high school, the week before was FILLED with activities surrounding cheerleader/mascot tryouts. Whether it was trying out myself or coaching someone through their tryouts, it consumed my life for a good week, if not more. I remember my 7th grade year, when I made mascot for the 8th grade squad, being one of the happiest moments of my life. I had NO idea what I was getting myself into, and in that moment, God received the glory.
The next time I was eligible to tryout was my sophomore year of high school for the varsity mascot (you had to be in 11th or 12th grade to be on varsity), and I just KNEW I had it in the bag. I had one of the best skits I’d ever come up with, some AMAZING props, an unforgettable entrance (I rode in on some piece of farm equipment – a mule!), and my folder full of future ideas was top notch.
Sure I prayed. That’s what I did when I wanted something. I said a quick little, “Jesus, please provide me what I want” prayer and went on about the tryout. I must of told 20 different girls when helping them with tryouts to “simply take your time…make sure everything is set up exactly how you want it…just breath, and if you mess up or something’s not right, ask to start over.” I’ve replayed that conversation over a million times in my head…because it’s the ONE thing I forgot during my tryout.
That wonderful little “entrance vehicle” I thought was so clever and would definitely make a statement, happened to swallow my 2 posters that pretty much tied the skit together. Without those posters, it made NO sense. So there I was in the middle of my tryout, no posters, and no sense to start over.
I finished the skit, fumbled through the questions from the judges, and drove out on my oversized golf-cart-looking vehicle. As soon as I got out of the gym, took the head of the costume off, and looked in the trailer attached to what I had driven in on…there were those two dern posters just staring up at me. I was crushed, and so were my dreams.
That evening, when the poster was put up on the front door of the school, my name wasn’t on it like it had been three years before. That was the first time I stumbled over my pride, and I’m pretty sure I landed face first, nose to the ground on that one. I had let my pride of knowing I was good, of knowing I had all the creativity I needed, of thinking I was going to do it all by myself get in the way of what really mattered – God’s plan for my life.
That wouldn’t be the last time I didn’t look to God for direction in my life. I managed to make it through a campus tour, the application process, a summer of dorm-room-décor planning, 3 semesters, and 1 summer before I ever checked my heart to see what God really wanted for me. I was SO proud to be going to Baylor. I remember the feeling I got when people asked me where I went to school. It was definitely a pride thing. I was so proud to be there, I forgot to study (my schoolwork OR the Bible) and my life was definitely heading down the wrong path.
You’d think after the big, and not so cheap, door of Baylor slammed with my back to it, obviously knocking my down once again, I’d look to God for direction in my life. But I had already fallen in love with accounting and I knew that was how I was going to provide for myself and my family. For the second, third, and fourth years of my college career, all of my efforts (including my part time job) were devoted to learning the world of accounting, only to realize that wasn’t where God was leading me. I had been so proud to say that I was going to be an accountant that I failed to ask God what HE would be proud to say I was. This time, it wasn’t a door slamming on me that knocked me down, I’m pretty sure it was the large puddle of water my tears had formed that I slipped on.
I believe it was in that moment that I really began to realize that my pride was definitely getting in the way of me living my life. I had been so proud of the things “I” had done, that I pushed God more and more out of my life. There have definitely been other moments when I failed to give Him the praise He deserved, but those are definitely the moments that I can still feel the sting of at times.
It is my prayer now that I would learn to walk as a Princess does, always looking to her Father for the direction and wisdom she needs, and thanking Him for all that He has blessed her with.
Romans 4:20 - "Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God."
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