It was the last possible moment, and I knew that. I had been hearing about the deadline to sign up for the Moldova mission trip for months now. I had heard Bryan Hammons (the trips leader and my father-in-law), Jason Paredes (our missions pastor), Josh Eliff and James Myers (our college pastors) urging members of our church to take part in this trip. I encouraged others to go, prayed for the participants of the trip, as well as the details of the trip for months and months. I even created a flyer for the even to be used as a promotional piece at the beginning of the year.
But, as usual, I just told God I couldn’t go. Yes, I know that is wrong, and I know that I have a problem where that is concerned. I have a weakness when it comes to control. I make decisions, I plan for things, and I anticipate what is going to happen so that I KNOW what is going on. I’ve done this my whole life, and have had plenty of experiences where someone might think I would have learned my lesson already.
So after months of ignoring the opportunity, not even once considering that it might be possible for me to go, I heard one simple command, “GO.” I’ve prayed for moments like that, begged for moments like that, but have never really experienced HEARING God give me an answer. It was as if God was telling me everything was going to be okay, any worry and any doubt I had ever had would be taken care of.
At that time, I began to panic. Not because I was worried about going, but because I was worried about NOT going and the regret I would feel when the group came back and I learned all I had (selfishly) missed out on. I knew that Bryan had a deadline to turn in the numbers for the trip, and I also knew that it was around 4:00 on the afternoon of that deadline.
Hesitantly, I picked up my phone and texted him, “Have you happened to turn in the numbers for the trip yet?” The next few minutes seem to last forever, but I finally got a text back that made my heart race even faster, “Not yet. Why, are you interested in going?” I knew that Bryan was actually kidding with that question, because I had never even really expressed to him that I had a desire to go, and he also knew how far out of my comfort zone this would be. With my hands shaken, and my heart about to beat out of my chest, I texted him back, “Actually…YES.”
At that moment, I felt relief. But a whole new set of worry set in. I had not even MENTIONED this to my husband yet. He usually gets off work at 4:00, so I called him ready to know when he would be home so I could spill my guts, only to hear him say that he was going to stay at work a little longer and that we would run some errands when he got off.
While I was waiting for him to get home, I received one more text from Bryan that said, “Calling you in 10!” I knew that Bryan was excited I had felt called to go, I just hoped that my husband would feel the same way.
I walked…more like ran…outside as Brad pulled up and didn’t even wait until I got in his car to blurt out that I had felt God telling me he wanted me to go to Moldova.
His worries were exactly what I expected, my tummy and my eating habits. J Later that evening, it did switch to being a little worried about being on his own for 11 days and a little sad, but all-in-all, he was on board!
I talked with his dad that evening, as well as calling my parents and my brother to let them know, and just like that, I committed to one of biggest leaps of faith thus far.
After deciding that I would be going on the Moldova mission trip, I spent the next week catching up with what all the group members had done over the past few months to get ready for the trip.
There were two things I needed to take care of, and quickly! One of those being my passport – I had received one for our honeymoon in August of 2009, but because I filed for it before we were married, it had my maiden name on it.
The second thing I needed to take care of was support for my trip. Obviously, traveling across the world with multiple flights and over a weeks worth of expenses, things were going to be expensive. I knew from the promotional piece I had created that the trip cost close to $3000. More important than financial support is the spiritual support. I know from experience with friends and family how powerful prayer can be, and I felt comforted knowing that we will have a team of supporters covering us in prayer while we are away. I began to work on a list of people that have supported me over the years, as well as many that I have seen as faithful prayer warriors, and I also put together a letter to send to them.
I am so looking forward to what God is going to do while we are serving in Moldova, and I am just thankful that He pushed me to take this step.
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