Sweet Baby Hammons, Saturday, May 11, 2013
I
have now known about you for 24 hours (although you’ve been making your
presence known for a good 12 days now), and let me tell you – it has been the
happiest, most special 24 hours of my life!
You
have been prayed over for years. These
past few years, we have yearned for you, cried for you, and patiently (most
days) waited for you. Your daddy and I
were willing to do whatever it took to meet you, including trying IVF, which I
made our first appointment for on Thursday.
Obviously, I’m going to need to cancel that appointment since the Clear
Blue test said “PREGNANT !!!!” Okay…it wasn’t all caps, and there were no
exclamation marks, but that’s sure how I yelled it to your daddy!
Let’s
not get ahead of ourselves in this story though. We’ll get back to telling your daddy in a
minute.
I
started feeling extremely nauseas on Tuesday, April 30 and by Friday, May 3 I
was HOPING I knew what was going on. I
thought there was NO WAY you could already be making me sick, but I had to wait
a little longer to find out. I took an
early-results test on Monday of this week and my least favorite moment in life
occurred one last time. The message was
clear: Not Pregnant.
I
was heartbroken, again. I was so ready
to be your mommy, and I didn’t want to wait any longer. I pushed the hopes to the back of my mind one
more time, and your daddy will be the first to tell you – it was one tough week
for me. My emotions were all over the
place, and I couldn’t make a single decision.
I couldn’t make sense of anything and it seemed like reason had flown
out the window. Obviously not the best
time to have life-changing conversations (which we did), but we had no idea
WHAT my hormones (and you) were doing at the time. (Everything makes so much more sense now! So
glad I get to blame you for my momentary “CrAzY!” We’re gonna be a great team!)
By Thursday, my emotions were back in check enough to make a phone call to a new doctor, an IVF specialist. We did some preliminary discussions and then scheduled an appointment for Wednesday, May 15....needless to say, we're calling to cancel that one on Monday morning!
By
yesterday, the nausea was back in full force and I almost thought I wasn’t
going to be able to get myself all the way home from work. You were on your A-Game yesterday, working
over-time to grow healthy and strong!!
Your daddy and I had plans to go out with our friends Kent and Kelsey (You’re
really going to love them! They already love you!) to see Iron Man 3 (you’re
going to love getting to actually SEE your first movie someday, it was a good
one!), but I REALLY didn’t think I was going to be able to make it.
As
soon as I walked in from work, I grabbed your big brother Emmitt and flopped
down on the bed. Against everything I wanted
to do, I asked your dad to go get a pregnancy test one last time. I KNEW what the results were going to
be. There was NO way I was pregnant. But
I had to see it for myself one last time, so he ran to the store, grabbed our
go-to tests and came back home.
And
in that moment, my life changed forever.
I can’t tell you how many of those tests I’ve watched turn from the
timer to the results and been heartbroken at every negative. But what I can tell you is that every moment
waiting is worth THIS moment. I am so
excited to be your mommy and I can not wait until the day I finally meet you,
look in your beautiful eyes for the first time, hold you in my arms, and kiss
your sweet cheeks.
I
couldn’t hold my excitement in. I came
right out and, with tears already streaming, told your daddy, “It’s positive,
I’m pregnant.” The next 15 minutes or so
is a little blurry, but there were a lot of tears, hugging, a few “Oh My
Goshes,” and one slight panic attack. (And I took another one this morning JUST
to make sure you were still in there!)
 |
| DOUBLE proof! |
When
our doctors told us you were impossible, our God whispered, “With
Me, all things are possible.”
When my heart broke and I feared you would never come, our Father
whispered, “Be still and know that I am God,” and “Trust in Me with all your heart,
lean not on your own understanding. In
all your ways acknowledge Me, and I will make your paths straight.” And we will continue to acknowledge Him and
praise Him throughout our newest and most special journey.
 |
| Sick as a dog, but a smile on my face! |
You
are loved my precious child, and I hope that you know that every day of your
life.
Love,
Your
mommy
Week 4 - You are the size of a sweet little poppy seed, and you'll learn quickly that I LOVE poppy seeds!! I'll do my best to stay away from them while you're working hard to grow though ;)
 |
| Less than .1 in and less than .04 oz |
This week, you have certainly made me feel different emotionally and physically, with nausea really taking over around 3:00 every afternoon and a not so great taste on the very back of my tongue! I have to say, I don't hate it! I'm also pretty sensitive to all the smells around me, too.
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