Rest, My Friend.

Let's talk about New Years.  I know, I know. It's not even Christmas yet, but before you send out a witch hunt and go all "No Christmas before Halloween = No New Years before Christmas" on me, let me share my thoughts.

Normally, as we are wrapping up Christmas (the holiday, not the presents), I start to look toward the new year and pray over what the year might look like, what God has for me and my family, and what can I do to improve on the last year.  (I also REALLY like to look back on all God has done in our family over the past year, but that's for another post... really in the new year!)  Sometime in those final weeks/days, I'll pray and ask God to give me a certain word. In years past, He's given it to me at many different times in different ways and for different reasons, sometimes when I wasn't even really asking Him for it yet.  (This is my 5th year to share about my word/verse for the year here on my blog. You can read the other ones HERE.)

I honestly thought this year was going to be a little different. God has put PRAYER on my heart, heavily.  If you've talked with me in any sort of accountability form over the last 2 years or so, you know this is an area I feel like I've really struggled.  Not that I can't/don't pray, but that I am not INTENTIONAL in my prayer time.  As a momma to two, some days being totally on my own, I do my best to get up as the littlest wakes up, and the time after they go to sleep is spent furiously getting things done that are easier done with 2 hands than 6.  This leaves little time for Jesus. I (I, me, in all the bold, italics, underlined, and capital letters) leave little time for Jesus.  I have spent time in God's word studying for two different bible studies and following an unknown number of She Reads Truth studies.  I spend time in prayer, praying for friends and our families' requests, as well as our own, but when you are talking "go deeper, dig harder, listen to the Father intimately" kind of prayer... I "just don't have the time," or at least I don't make the time that I know He deserves.

I've studied prayer and practiced prayer and journaled prayers over the years, even in the last two, but if I'm being honest, I've not given God the time He deserves.  It's something I've prayed about and asked others to pray about as well.  Although I'm still not "there" yet, He's been gracious in giving me some ideas about how to be intentional in 2019 with prayer, and I'm excited to implement those things.  I'm also excited about the desire He has given me in my heart to make this an area of great discipline in my life.  The fact that the God of the universe PURSUES us is just astounding! Praise God, He does!!

So back to the whole "word" thing.  Like I said, I was really feeling like He was pulling me away from a specific word this year and calling me more to focus on the specific spiritual discipline of prayer.  But over the last week, He might as well have put it in flashing lights (and if I could in this blog, I would...) But it would have read: REST.  I've had people SPEAK this over me, I have had people text this to me, and then I had a wedding photographer I follow EMAIL it to me.  If I am being honest, she emailed it to all, however-many-thousand email subscribers she has, but she might as well have sent it straight to me, becuase there in the subject of her email read: Rest, my friend.  I honestly can't even tell you how many times those words have been given to me (in some fashion) over the last few weeks.

So here I am, gearing up for 2019... a year that starts with a wedding, adds a newborn baby to our family in Spring, another wedding over the Summer, and who knows what else is to come... but God knows, and HE is the one that is calling me to rest.  I don't know what that looks like exactly (with a 5 year old, 2 year old, and newborn baby... and a husband gone, a lot), but I know that He will show me.

And here's the thing, I'm really good at making plans.  I'm good at taking time and writing it all out and coming up with all these steps and ideas, and even listening as God gives me those ideas, but I'm not good at the next part, STARTING.  So rather than waiting to start with this resting and intentional prayer in 2019, I'm starting today, right now.  So like I said, I have no idea what this looks like, but I know that God will direct each step (or let me know when to not take those steps).